Day 98 on my journey: What am I going to do?

I have been walking around asking myself what to do? In month 4 I am supposed to pick a project I believe I can manifest in about three months.

My mind often overflows with ideas and I can get them started, but I don’t always follow through. I am very grateful I am still writing this blog and haven’t given up yet. A gold star for me today!!!

So back to picking a project. By the way I listened to the audio of a call for program members and one of the ladies said something that struck me. She spoke about wanting to grow her business but just feeling stuck. (I’m using my own words here). She just couldn’t imagine having the people in her life to support and help her.

I realized that I have the same problem. Like I said I often have so many ideas, get started and then give up. She also said that if she didn’t feel like she would be able to do a good job, she didn’t even feel like getting started. That’s me too! I don’t trust others being able to do what I can do. I used to be worse. I guess if I ever want to really start a business I’ll have to get over that…

Anyway my project. Here it is:

Start paying back my debts through monthly payments and feeling great about it.

Great project huh?!

Now what I need to do is visualize that it’s already happening and how it makes me feel. Shouldn’t be too hard.

I am a bit afraid that my identity factor is in full resistance mode when it comes to connecting to others. I have done some BSFF on the problem of feeling alone, connecting to others and getting what I want. I also tried sending pink light to my friends on Facebook.

Hopefully in a few months I’ll have found ways to stay connected to others without going back to my old ways. Although I am being a bit too hard on myself. I have 74 friends on Facebook. That to me is amazing and most of the friends are adding me instead of me adding them. It feels nice.

Day 44 on my journey: Loving this!

I just love this program. It is so wonderful to connect to others, even if it’s over the Internet. Some people have befriended me on facebook and the founder of the group “Hurricane of Gratitude” has offered to make me an officer of the group.

He asked me to come up with a title and after some thought it occured to me that I have a passion for learning. I enjoy acquiring knowledge, especially about life. So I decided on the title “Life Explorer”.

I realized that there are two questions that are keeping me on my path to self improvement:

1. How does life work?
2. Where am I really from?

It feels great to know this about myself. To finally know what my passion is: to learn!

Personal development has been a part of my life because of this passion and because of my willingness to change.

I am not saying it’s easy, but I am willing and that helps.

Day 43 on my journey: Stop resisting!

On this day I read a story written by a member of the facebook group “Hurricane of Gratitude”. It’s a great group. People share what they’re grateful for, among other things, but for the last few weeks the founder has asked us to make a video or in any other way, share our world, our passions with the other members.

So, one of the members did a “wideo” (a video, but with words). The message she gave us was inspired by something she saw. Every day on her walk with her dog she gets to the top of a hill and sees birds. On this one day she saw a hawk. Normally they glide through the air effortlessly, but on this day the hawk was trying to stay in one spot. You could tell that it was costing a lot of energy and it was definitely not easy.

The same thing goes for us. When we resist life, it saps our energy. You feel tired and depressed, but when you just go with the flow and accept what is, as just what is, life is so much easier.

I hope to finally feel that God or the Universe or whatever force out there taking care of life, is taking care of me. That no matter what, I am loved.

I am loved now!

Day 36 on my journey: Facebook and Twitter…!

On this day I listened to an interview Joan Sotkin did with Mari Smith. She is an expert on relationship marketing. She knows a lot about Facebook and Twitter among other social networking media.

It was nice to listen to her and Joan talking about how important it is to connect to people. As I said before… money is always attached to people. The more people you connect with the more money you can attract. Of course it’s better to have quality relationships as opposed to just quantity.

I signed up for Twitter. Although it’s going to be another thing to keep updated, I think it will be good for me to stay in touch with others.

My cashflow sheet is still going strong. All resistance to keeping track of my finances is gone.

The only thing I still want to do is read more of the information in the program and listen to the audios. I also need to read some financial news on yahoo as suggested by Joan.

And as you may remember I need to get rid of some more clutter. I already got rid of some of it. So I’ve made a start… and it feels great.

Day 26 on my journey: After every down there’s an up…!

On this day, after all that has happened these two days before, something really nice happened. I was mentioned in a video on facebook.

You see, I’m a member of a group on facebook called Hurricane of Gratitude. The founder of the group put together a really nice video and included the pictures of members of the group, showing them how much he appreciates them. It was a really nice thing to do.

So this was my up after a down. This group is really growing and that shows me how gratitude works. As you become more and more grateful you get more and more to be grateful for. Every few days I post a list of 5 things I am grateful for on the wall of the group. I haven’t done if for a while, because of a few things going on with me.

At the moment I am grateful to have my glasses back and to have some money in my pocket…

There is so much to be grateful for.

To get back to my goal of living a debt free prosperous life. I have been walking around thinking about getting a PDA or a digital camera. I like taking pictures and uploading them to my Picture trail account, but I haven’t done that in a while, because my digital camera broke.

It’s nice to take pictures of the girls now that there so young, but a digital camera is pretty expensive if you want a good one. A PDA is even more expensive and I already decided I don’t really need it. I could get a diary or use my mobile to keep track of appointments and I am already using an excel sheet to keep track of my cashflow, so I don’t need a PDA.

So, now I’m still thinking about this digital camera. I can take pictures with my mobile, but they’re only 2 mega pixels.

I think I’ll just take a few months and save up for one or think about it a bit longer, who knows I might find another solution…