Another day on my journey: Got a lot to tell you!

It’s been a while since I wrote a post for my blog/journal. I would “blame” it on the moving stupids. For those of you who don’t know what they are, let me explain. When you go through the moving stupids you feel disoriented and like who am I, what’s going on? You loose things, feel different about what’s going on, people behave differently…. Life looks different. Basically you are going through changes!

And I definitely am going through that. Let me tell you what has happened the last few days. Bare with me, because I have a feeling I am still in the middle of it all.

In my last entry I told you about not being able keep track of my money online anymore and that I had trouble finding software that I could use. You see I have dinars and most of the software is for $, so that was giving me problems. Now, yesterday I found this really nice software that you can use to keep track of any currency and an unlimited amount of accounts. It also has all these different reports you can run. I am trying it out now for 30 days and then I think I’ll buy it. If you’re curious to know what I’m talking about go here AceMoney.

That was the good news, now for the “bad” news. I am now getting my salary in my own account, which is great, if not that my husband is not happy about it. He decided that we have to split the bills 50/50 and that we should both live our lives. For now it means he no longer sleeps in our bed, but somewhere else, either out of the house or in our guestroom.

Now for the “good” part about this. I am so okay with this. It doesn’t upset me as much as it “should”. I’ve come to realize that things happen and I decide how to react to them. I have to admit that I got all emotional when he told me that he wanted us to share the bills, because I was afraid I didn’t make enough. But then it occurred to me that I hadn’t even calculated everything and looked at the numbers. Turns out I’ll have a lot more left than before and I could start paying off debts. So now I’ve set up an excel sheet with all the numbers, where I’ll be keeping track of our bills and who pays what.

I have come to the last month of the BYMM program and I must say I’ve made quite some progress in these last 6 months. Month 6 is about loving yourself and treating yourself as someone you love. I was already able to look myself in the eyes and say that I loved myself, but now I feel I am putting it into practice. My identity factor is trying hard to keep me where I was, especially when it comes to my relationship with my husband, but whatever happens, happens and I’ll deal with it then. I am sending him loving pink light as often as I can, because I want us to be happy together. He just has to realize that this new situation is for the good of both of us and our family.

I’m doing the best I can to stay focused on a positive outcome to this experience, what else could I do! Worry?! Absolutely not! Not an option at all… debt free prosperous living here I come!

Day 113 on my journey: An important financial decission to make…

Starting next week I’m going to work an extra hour every day… more money! Nice huh?!

It’s great of course, but with this extra money comes the question of what to do with it. What will most likely happen and I hope it won’t is that the money will go into my husband’s account.

A co-worker told me that I should be stronger in dealing with this with my husband. That the money I make is mine and that I should be getting it and deciding with to do with it, instead of it going into his account. I have tried to talk to my husband about this in the past and he was not willing to listen to me.

Now here is what I want. I know the Universe is listening so I’ll be as specific as possible.

I am willing to “give” my husband 300KD every month and keep the rest. The rest will be about 200KD. It depends on how many hours I really work. Anything can happen.
I want to save some of this money and spend the rest on getting ready to start my own business. I need to learn so much about having a business. I need business- and marketing skills for sure.

At the moment I am just not confident enough I could make it in business. I would really like to have my own way of making money, but I am realistic enough to know that with my current mindset I wouldn’t succeed.

Now this may sound negative. I prefer to call it: Being Real!

First off all I need to really decide on what it is I would like to do. We spend all this money on me getting my graphics and design diploma, so I feel I have to do something with it.

I believe I need coaching. Someone outside myself who can take an objective look at my situation and give me some advice.

So the extra money I would definitely spend on some coaching sessions with Joan Sotkin and/or with Jeanie Marshall. I admire both these women for their hard work and marketing abilities. I could learn a lot from them.

It is time to accept that there is only so much I can do by myself. I really want to do something with my life, instead of just working for someone else.

But like I said I need to get ready… I need to prepare…

Day 107 on my journey: Got the check…!

I am not sure what happened this month, but I finally got my check. Could it be that because of my just-enough feelings I created this?

You see my husband was away for a few weeks and I had the bankcard. I didn’t really need any extra money, but he is coming back tomorrow so…

This time that he was not here, was actually a good thing. It gave me time to think about what I want to do with my money.

I will have to find the right time to discuss my plans with him. If anything in my beliefs has changed he will react positively, if not, I have some more work to do!

Day 105 on my journey: Golden Pool of Abundance…!

I received the link to the guided meditation “Golden Pool of Abundance” by Jeanie Marshall. She didn’t get a notification from Paypal. It’s a good thing I asked. I’m very grateful I got the meditation.

It’s wonderful. I could really imagine splashing around in the pool and putting on new clothes when I got out.

I started reading the “Holographic Universe” again. It’s recommended in the program. I started reading before, but didn’t finish it. This time I understood the whole concept of holography must better. I guess I wasn’t ready before.
This book basically explains how we create our reality and that we are part of a much “bigger” whole. That we are all one.

I love this whole concept, because it makes sense to me (now) and it’s something I can use. It goes deeper than the Law of Attraction.

I already heard about the subconscious not knowing the difference between what we imagine and what “really” happens, but now I know why.

I attracted an amount of money unexpectedly yesterday. I am so grateful. I will definitely be visualizing and jumping into the Golden Pool of Abundance more often.

I’ve also been sending out pink light to people around me and online. It is part of the month 4 exercises. It’s nice to do that. It feels great.

I am truly starting to believe that this program works. What I mean by that is that it’s no longer just theory. It pays to take action!

Day 101 on my journey: I’m still confused!

Still no check, no guided meditation. I think I have to stop focussing on them. I am creating the want at the moment.

I am doing my best to be more aware of the thoughts I have through the day and I’ve been using my BSFF cue word a lot. I also listened to an extra audio I forgot to download in month one. It was very nice, but I didn’t get to listen to all of it. My MP3 player ran out of steam!

I also saw a video on Facebook. The person who did the video spoke about acknowledgments and demonstration. He suggested to start a demonstration journal. One thing I can already mention about demonstration (meaning synchronicity) is the fact that I keep running into notes or other sources of information about what I need more help with.

I am very grateful for that. It’s like the Universe approves of my journey and is doing it’s best to help me along. I did not expect any less than that.

I feel great about myself, because I was able to change my mood to a more positive one when I realized I had to wait another day or even longer to get my check…

I am so grateful for my husband. When I told him I was “broke”. He said: “Well you have the bankcard”. And I said; “But I don’t want to be taking out money and you don’t know” and he said; “As long as you’re ok”. I thought that was so sweet. So I withdrew some money.:-)

Just to clarify. My husband is in Nigeria at the moment. Normally I do not have the bank card…

I really am at a just enough level. I’m expecting my check, but have not yet decided what to do with the extra money. Who knows that might also be a reason I have not yet received that extra money…

Decisions, decisions!

Day 59 on my journey: Finally got my check!

My boss finally gave me my check today. I tried to cash it, but it was too crowded at the first bank I went to and I was too late at another one, so I’ll get the money in the morning.

I decided to tell my husband how much I made. He said: “HMM plenty money”. Knowing him that’s his way of showing approval.

Anyway, most of the money will go for my girl’s monthly school fees, which is overdue. I hope they won’t charge us an extra 10% they’ve been threatening to do.

For some reason my husband didn’t make as much as he normally does in a month. So my extra money comes in handy.

As I am approaching the end of month 2 which was about the Identity factor. I can really tell that I am held back by it. I wish to see more progress and I wish I would have done more.

I am not angry with myself. I am grateful that I am even on this path.

Next week I have a week of. Time to organize my life and house. I really look forward to having some time off…

Day 58 on my journey: Had a great day!

I had such a nice day today. Everything just seemed to flow. Traffic, work… just great.

The only thing that was a bit disappointing is that I still didn’t get my check. I hope tomorrow will be the day.

I’ve decided to meditate on the question whether or not to tell my husband the truth about the amount I made. I’m sure my higher self knows what’s best.

Day 57 on my journey: Almost missed another day! What am I going to do?!

I didn’t have access to the Internet on this day, so I am writing about it on day 58.

On day 57 I went through the month 2 workbook and listened to the audio again. I feel like I really needed to do that. For some reason this month I have not yet received my check with the extra money I am now making. Last month they were nice and early, but this month I’m still waiting.

I wonder whether it has anything to do with the fact that I don’t know whether to tell my husband the truth about how much I made or not. He is expecting a certain amount but I made more. There is some reasoning I can come up with for why I should tell him and why I shouldn’t and right now I’m not sure which side is winning.

I am afraid that if I tell him how much I really make I won’t have enough for myself for this month. Last month the allowance we agreed upon was not enough, so if I don’t keep the extra money I’m afraid I’ll be out of money before the end of the month again with no back up.

On the other hand if I don’t tell him he might find out and get upset. So what is worse? Running out of money or having an upset husband.

I still can’t make up my mind. I think I’ll just wait for the check and decide…

Day 37 on my journey: Connecting to people really works…!

I have proof that connecting to people really increases your income. I signed up for Twitter yesterday and started following some people. This morning at work I was notified that I would be getting a pay raise effective as of this month…yeah!

I couldn’t stop smiling. To me this is proof that connecting to people really helps attract more money. I already noticed an increase when I started this blog and went on Facebook, but I guess I must have done something right, because it’s working faster now…

Debt free prosperous living here I come…!

Day 29 on my journey: Finally did some organizing…!

On this day I bought an organizer. Not a digital one, but a really cheap paper one. It was a little over $1,50. But it’s great. It has a lot of sections. I didn’t have to pay a lot because it’s in English. People prefer Arabic here of course.

I also bought a five piece desk set. My desk looks a lot better now. I really am aiming to make being organized a habit. It feels good to see my desk in order. I will do the best I can to keep it that way.

I guess you can tell I have some extra money…:-)

I think that the things I bought are not a waste of money, though. They were not that expensive and I’ve been wanting to get them for some time now.

The only thing I won’t get is a digital camera. I want to see for how long I can keep that extra money in the bank.

This is almost the last day of month one. I am really looking forward to getting access to the information for month two.