Day 130 on my journey: I got “Zapped”!!!

Last night Joan zapped us on the teleclass. Zapped? Yep! She did some energy work on us and it felt great. I downloaded the audio and will be doing it again so it can sink in!

I could feel the energy. It was nice and warm. She asked us to release something that we wanted to let go off and make the sound that went with the feelings. I couldn’t really do that, because my husband was in the room with me.:-( And to be honest I did not have a clue what sound to make. I feel like my throat is stuck or something. I can’t let go.

I’ll just have to try it a few more times and see what happens. Although this experience has made me realize how much I isolate myself. I didn’t really feel part of the group. This is my biggest block I think. To get out of my isolation and feel part of something.

I do feel closer to my husband which is really great and I’ve noticed that I don’t feel like spending as much as I used to, even though I have some money in my wallet.

I even put some money aside this month. A major breakthrough!

Day 127 on my journey: What is my purpose in life?

For years now I’ve read about how we create our own reality and I have always known it to be true, but there’s a difference between knowing something and actually experiencing it. You see, my goal in life is to be debt-free and prosperous and as you may know there are some issues blocking me.

This is what has happened in the last few days that is proof to me that I am the “cause” of what it going on in my life.

1. I got a digital camera. I visualized it and I bought it. I haven’t actually got it yet, but it’s on its way.

2. I attracted someone in my life who I believe can be of great help to me. Her name is Brenda Bentley and she’s a hypnotherapist. I listened to an interview Joan did with her and it took away most of the fear I have of hypnosis. I am ready to give hypnosis a try and I feel like Brenda is the ideal person to help me out.

3. I have, for some time now, wanted some changes in my marriage. I wished for my husband to be more affectionate and realized that in order for him to be like that towards me I have to be more affectionate towards myself. So I set the intention of taking better care of myself. I cut my hair and finally found some hair products that don’t dry out my hair and it looks great. And I was right, my husband is more affectionate and I’m very grateful for that.

4. I am still keeping track of my money and it’s going better and better every day.

5. I get an “allowance” every month and this month I got some more.

6. I have learned so much from Joan’s BYMM program, that I feel more secure. I feel like I’ll soon find my true purpose, because becoming debt-free and prosperous is part of my purpose. I have to be “doing” something in order to be debt-free and prosperous. That something should be of service to others.

I bought a blue candle today to start my ritual as suggested in month 5. The reason I choose a blue candle, is first of all because blue is my favorite color, but also because blue is the color of the throat chakra. I am pretty good at writing stuff, because I can take my time and think, but talking does not come that easy to me. I choke up a lot. I need a ritual to open up my throat chakra and allow my words to flow more fluently…

The Universe is on my side. It feels great!

Day 121 on my journey: Need to get out there again…!

Believe it or not, I got my check for January, went to the bank to cash it and there was something wrong with it.

Because I was expecting the money, I basically spend all the money I had. I was upset, but I can’t really explain the emotion(s) I was feeling.

Anyway I found a solution. I drove home and my husband was still there. He was trying to fix our washing machine. So I asked/told him I was going to take some money out of our account and replace it later. He just shrugged his shoulders and said it was ok.

I was amazed. I was prepared to beg…:-) I mean I felt like he would give me a hard time. Things are really changing and that’s really wonderful.

So I gave back the check to have it “fixed” and we’ll see when I get it back.

Now this is my theory behind all this. I am at a just enough level. So me running out of money and then getting enough for the rest of the month fairly quick is “normal”.

But I want to get to a state were I will have enough money all the time. Or at least feel like I do. Another explanation is that I haven’t been on Facebook and Twitter as often as I used to, so I’m isolating myself.

I know it may sound strange, but connecting to others really helps.

What I’ve been doing lately is staying in the moment. I’ll ask myself “Do I have everything I need right now?” and my answer is always yes. I may not have everything I want, but that is less important.

On this day I listened to last weeks BYMM teleclass. It was just awesome. Joan spoke about how the feeling of aloneness is past on generation on generation and that it goes really deep.

I know I have issues with aloneness and I’ve done some BSFF on it, but I haven’t allowed myself to really feel it yet. I really wonder whether I could.

Joan gave some tips on getting in touch with your feelings in order to release them.

Now all I need is a free hour to get it done… wish me luck!

Day 116 on my journey: It’s a miracle…!

I was in owe this morning. My husband suggested, HIMSELF, that my salary should be payed into my account so I can access my “allowance” and I won’t have to wait for my check anymore. I told him I was broke and he gave me some money. He said something about paying him back, but we’ll see about that. I probably will… that’s just me!

I see this as a major accomplishment and a miracle. He has always been against me having access to my own money, because I think he thinks I’ll spend it all. I think I’ve proven to him that he doesn’t have to be scared of that. When he was gone for a few weeks and gave me the bank card, he was surprised to still find as much money in the bank as there was.

He was probably afraid it would all be gone…:-)

The best thing is that I didn’t even have to ask. All I did was visualize a few times that my husband is willing to let me have my money in my account. The next step is to visualize that I have full control over it.

He has not yet said what he wants me to do with the rest of the money every month, but I feel optimistic about that. It’s amazing to me! This visualizing works.

First the digital camera (I still need to order it by the way) and now this. Next is coaching sessions with Joan. I’m sure those are going to be very helpful.

I now have access to month 5 of the BYMM program. This month is about activating the creative inner child and asking for money. Oh and I am also going to learn how to “act as if” and work on getting my project for month 4 done. I had three projects for month 4 and I already got two of them mostly done, so I consider that just the best thing ever… I could get the hang of this…

Ask and you shall receive… visualize and you create…

Oh I just realize, what’s even better? The results of my visualization are better than I expected. I didn’t have to ask to have my own money in my own account. WooHoo!

Day 103 on my journey: Too much to share!

The last few days a lot has been going on. Just too much to share. So I’ll just stick to whatever I remember at this moment.

I am expecting the BYMM book next week. Looking forward to holding it and getting on track with reading it.

I listened to a member’s call. Almost everybody on there was doing better. The fact they are on the call and really making an effort is working for them. I am always very happy to see others do well.

Our group has been moved to Google. On Facebook it wasn’t that easy to stay in touch. I signed up for the Google group and updated my profile. I really hope to connect to the others more now.

I still didn’t get my check. I hope to get it tomorrow morning. I don’t really know what to do about it. Joan was saying we should activate our internal Obama, but I don’t really know what that means. I know he is a very confident man and I love the way he is handling things. He seems prepared and knows the challenges he and the world are facing.

I don’t yet feel like giving away stuff, although I have been giving away some clothes and donated some money to the “Lawttery of Attraction”.

I listened to the audio for month 4 again. It’s all about connecting to the “Field of Consciousness” as Joan calls it. I’m doing my best to visualize our coaching sessions together. I am open to any signs that I can afford them.

The information in this program is just wonderful. I don’t know why Joan is charging such a low amount. Anybody else would have probably charged a lot more. I believe she really wants to help others and give them the opportunity to sign up even when on a low budget.

Joan offered to send me a healing stone. A stone that she energized. I’m not sure whether she sent it already, but I’m looking forward to receiving it…

I have on been on fool.com reading about investments, bonds, stocks, etc. I’m proud of myself for doing that because I haven’t been reading about money stuff, but it is suggested in the program. So I get a gold star today.. woo-hoo!!

Day 80 to 85 on my journey: Holiday break!

I didn’t write about my journey for a few days, because of the holidays. I’ll just do a recap of what has happened within this period of time.

I’ve done some BSFF on some issues of aloneness, inner-directed issues, self-image, etc.

I also did some yoga, which was very nice. It was only about 10 minutes, but it made a big difference. I was so much more relaxed, especially when it comes to time. I always used to worry about being late. Now I’ve noticed that when I stay in the moment it doesn’t matter what time I get to where I need to be, it’s the perfect time.

I listened to some more of Joan’s audio. I would like to read the BYMM book a bit more. I seem to feel more drawn to the audio than to the reading.

Joan’s keeps saying that it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you are doing something.

I still have a long way to go, but that’s fine. All in due time.

For some reason my relationship with my husband has improved. I have never felt more in love… such a great feeling. I think I never really allowed myself to feel the feeling of loving another person, but what’s really great as well is that my husband shows me more affection as well.

Your outer world really reflect what is going on inside… this is proof to me!

I signed up for a teleseminar to energize my goals. I have some time off again this week so I’m going to set some goals for the new year.

As soon as I do I’ll think about posting them here.

Day 65 on my journey: Reorganizing the house!

On this day my husband and I reorganized our living room. We added some red shelves, vases, flowers, pout porrie and greens. My husband put the furniture in a different order, which looks very open and nice.

I have a strong feeling that my inner world is being expressed in my outer world. It’s amazing, at least to me, to see all these changes. I wonder how long it is going to take for me to get used to the new set up. I’ll upload some pictures tomorrow.

I am so grateful for this program. I strongly belief that listening to the audios and doing the BSFF treatments is contributing to these great changes.

I will do the best I can to keep moving forward and not return to my old identity.

I prefer my new and improve one, anyway so it shouldn’t be hard to keep it…:-)

Day 61 on my journey: Start of a new month!

I am very sleepy at the moment, so I’ll keep it short.

I enjoy myself more. I have the week off next week. A great time to go over everything in my house.

The MP3 player I bought is just great. I was able to listen to some recordings by Joan on the way from and to work.

I listened to 2 audios today. Great information and help with less-than-enough and just-enough financial positions.

I feel like I’m really getting my money’s worth with this program.

Day 40 on my journey: My identity?

There is an audio in the BYMM program called the Identity Factor. This is something Joan talks about a lot. This identity factor is the one that likes to keep us where we are. It loves the predictabilty of our lives.

I can fully understand that.

Moving forward is not just about getting rid of bad money habits, but it’s also important to replace them with healthy habits. Learning to take better care of myself and my money is very important.

I see that, but to be honest I find it hard to replace my old habits. I am getting impatient.

So in order not to get discouraged I am going to make a list of what I feel I have achieved so far and pat myself on the back for that:

1. I am keeping track of my spending. Which has, by the way, taught me that I am still overspending. I bought something that at the moment of buying I thought I shouldn’t because I wouldn’t have enough money left for the rest of the month. I bought it anyway and to be honest I don’t regret I did. I am using what I bought. It’s not just sitting there and it’s something I will be using in future. For how long I don’t know, but I am using it now and that’s all that matters.

2. I am still writing in this journal every day. I am really proud of myself for doing that.

3. I am connecting to others. I am on facebook, twitter, hi5, a women’s self-esteem forum and so many other social networks I don’t even remember.

4. I cleared out some of my clutter. My desk is staying tidy, although the rest is a bit messy again. It is still a lot better than it was.

5. I found a prosperity buddy and have spoken to her twice now. It’s nice to have someone to share some of my concerns with and to be there for someone as well.

At times I feel the resistance and get upset, without being able to control myself. I guess I shouldn’t try to control my emotions, because that might lead to future problems.

I am just very grateful to be on this journey… taking baby steps is better than standing still… wouldn’t you agree?!

Day 31 on my journey: First day of month two…!

The first day of month two is here. Every 30 days I’ll get access to the next month, until 6 months has been reached.

I downloaded the workbook and the first audio about getting emotional issues out of the way. Last month was all about laying a foundation and getting rid of financial fear. This month we’re going to look at issues caused by the family of origin.

I am really curious to know which emotions are holding me back from moving forward.

I read the suggested part of the BYMM book, but haven’t done the actions yet. I still need to do some actions for month one. There is no time limit on this program. I just have to keep doing something every day or as often as possible. Listening to Joan’s audio is always really helpful.

I feel good. My journey to debt free prosperous living continues…