Day 98 on my journey: What am I going to do?

I have been walking around asking myself what to do? In month 4 I am supposed to pick a project I believe I can manifest in about three months.

My mind often overflows with ideas and I can get them started, but I don’t always follow through. I am very grateful I am still writing this blog and haven’t given up yet. A gold star for me today!!!

So back to picking a project. By the way I listened to the audio of a call for program members and one of the ladies said something that struck me. She spoke about wanting to grow her business but just feeling stuck. (I’m using my own words here). She just couldn’t imagine having the people in her life to support and help her.

I realized that I have the same problem. Like I said I often have so many ideas, get started and then give up. She also said that if she didn’t feel like she would be able to do a good job, she didn’t even feel like getting started. That’s me too! I don’t trust others being able to do what I can do. I used to be worse. I guess if I ever want to really start a business I’ll have to get over that…

Anyway my project. Here it is:

Start paying back my debts through monthly payments and feeling great about it.

Great project huh?!

Now what I need to do is visualize that it’s already happening and how it makes me feel. Shouldn’t be too hard.

I am a bit afraid that my identity factor is in full resistance mode when it comes to connecting to others. I have done some BSFF on the problem of feeling alone, connecting to others and getting what I want. I also tried sending pink light to my friends on Facebook.

Hopefully in a few months I’ll have found ways to stay connected to others without going back to my old ways. Although I am being a bit too hard on myself. I have 74 friends on Facebook. That to me is amazing and most of the friends are adding me instead of me adding them. It feels nice.

Day 88 and 89 on my journey: Feeling much better and Happy New Year…!

It’s amazing how doing BSFF and listening to Joan’s audios affects my mood. I was feeling a bit down the last few days. So on day 88 and 89 I sat down and did BSFF on feeling stuck, being debt free, prosperity and issues I might have with myself. In the new protocol, I received from Larry, there’s an overall statement you can use. It goes like this:

“I am treating every thought, feeling attitude, belief, imagination, fantasy and every other problem that I have ever had about or toward …”

I filled in “myself”. I think it had some effect, because I feel so much better now. I also sat down and wrote down some stuff that I found helpful in the audios. Like how to manage my money. Something I could do better if I put more effort into it. I think that is a major factor holding me back at the moment. I still feel a bit vague about my money. I just haven’t found a good way to keep track yet… even after all these months. I tried two different ways and I keep finding differences between what I actually have and what’s in my software.

I think that once I get that going well, things will improve a lot faster. I’m going to look for an even easier way to keep track. Another software something maybe.

I also finally realized that I am feeling ashamed of my money. I thought that feeling alone was mostly what was going on, but shame is a big issue as well. I am ashamed of the way I spend my money and the fact that I just can’t seem to keep track of it. I keep forgetting to write things down. My identity factor is doing a great job at protecting my financial identity.

I don’t want to go back to my old ways and I won’t.

I feel really great!

Oh and by the way Happy New Year!

Make this your best year ever!

Day 86 and 87 on my journey: I have the moving stupids…

Now you may ask “What are the moving stupid?” Well according to Joan Sotkin, any time you make significant changes in your identity you go through a period of adjusting to them. You feel disoriented, strange, etc.

Well this is what is happening to me now. For a few days I was just not able to write in this blog or connect with anybody. I “blame” it on the BSFF sessions I have been doing on my feeling of just-enough and being alone.

I still feel a bit weird at the moment, but I think that things are getting better. I just have to continue doing things I would normally not do.

It is really not me to keep in touch with others, but I really want to connect to others more, so I just have to keep on doing that. I almost fell back these last few days, but I do not want to give up.

I just learned about Ho’oponopono. I heard about it before, but it is crossing my path again, so I’ll be looking into it and giving it a try. I think it is similar to BSFF. The process is different, but to me at the end of the day it is the subconscious that takes care of unresolved emotions and memories causing problems in the present moment.

Ho’opononpo goes a bit further though. You are 100% responsible for anything that happens in your life. We all hear about how we create our reality and this is something that I truly believe, but being 100% responsible for everything that happens is something that I would normally not think of doing.

After reading about it I do feel that it is true. Everything that happens “outside” of us is actually a reflection of what is going on inside us. By healing yourself, forgiving yourself, loving yourself you cleanse your past and end up creating more loving and joyful experiences.

To read more about Ho’oponopono and how miraculous it is, go here.

Day 78 on my journey: I really want to get past this…!

On this day I listened to Joan blogtalkradio show again. I signed up for Gina’s Mental Mastery mini course. It’s a seven day course to learn how to set goals and achieve them (in a nutshell).

So I started writing down what I would like my life to look like. I noticed that I wrote down a lot of feeling goals. Of course I desire to live a debt free prosperous life. According to Gina I don’t have to worry about how my goals will be reached, the Universe takes care of that.

I feel like I’m really close to the next level. And after listening to the answers Joan and Gina gave to my questions I realize that what has been holding me back all this time is me or better said the identity factor.

I am so used to being at this level that it’s not easy to move out of that. I guess all I can do is do something every day to change just a little.

I listened to the BSFF treatment for month 3 again and I listened to an audio I bought some time ago by Joan about aloneness. I am definitely expressing aloneness through my money.

I have connected to some other people on Facebook and I do have some female friends here in Kuwait, but I don’t feel like I can be me with them. Although there’s one who seems interested in the things I am interested in, but we don’t get to talk much. She offered to start a book club, but I don’t know how serious she is about that. I guess I’ll have to find out.

When it comes to aloneness I can say that I wish I knew why I prefer being alone. Joan spoke about being afraid of being left alone, and sometimes I can see that in myself, but there’s times when I don’t.

I like being by myself. Ever since I was a little girl I’d be in my room studying, reading books and felt fine. Although I did want to play with others, I always felt left out.

It doesn’t really matter where this wanting to be alone comes from I want to get rid of it. I’d like to be able to make friends and meet people I can really relate to. Who’ll support me and make me feel loved and appreciated.

Day 74 on my journey: I am hopeful…!

On this day I received a phone call from the people that offered to fix my MP3 player. The guy told me it’s ready. I can’t wait to find out whether it’s really fixed. If not I’ll be getting my money back, no ifs, buts or maybes…

I also did some BSFF on self-image and inner-directed issues. I don’t notice much of a difference consciously, but I’m used to that. BSFF works really gently. Any real changes I’ll notice or feel in due time.

There are a few issues and problems I would love to treat, but I’m taking it easy. That’s just me. Like I said before I need to feel inspired to do it.

Like I felt inspired to write down some reasonable goals for my other website. I’m going to focus on attracting more traffic and adding more content. I’d like to promote BSFF more, because it’s just great.

I’m thinking of writing a page on why I feel BSFF is “better” than EFT. EFT is a wonderful method as well, but I just prefer BSFF.

I feel that BSFF is not getting enough attention. EFT is all over the Internet and the amount of sites that talk about BSFF is limited. If you know of a good site, apart from Larry’s site of course, please let me know.

I know there are people getting some great results with BSFF. I wish they would speak up some more.

Anyway I’ll keep blogging on my progress, which BSFF is a big part of…

Day 73 on my journey: Studied the new BSFF protocol…!

I studied the documents Larry send me on the new BSFF protocol. Unfortunately he has not replied to my questions about the new protocol. I’ll have to send him a new e-mail. I think for some reason when I reply to his e-mails they don’t go through.

I’d really like to know whether I am using the protocol correctly to receive full benefit.

That’s about it for this day… more to come!

Day 72 on my journey: New BSFF protocol…!

I love it… Larry send me the new BSFF protocol as I said before. I studied it on this day. I send Larry an e-mail and an example of how I would do a session and asked whether I did it right.

I’m waiting for him to get back to me, but I did use the new protocol on my issues with asking for money. I did it the way I understand the treatments need to be done. I think that even if I didn’t do it completely right I will benefit from it.

I also listened to the BSFF treatment audio by Joan again. I also found the statements she added for either men or women. I’ll be treating them as soon as possible.

I am feeling a bit disoriented at the moment. There is something shifting. There is so much I want to do, but I feel like the time is not ready. I know that when the time is ready I’ll be able to get whatever I want done in a short period of time.

I know this sounds like procrastination, but I don’t think it’s the same. I have to really feel inspired to do certain things.

Like I’d like to do some more BSFF, but I need to really decide what I want to treat first.

My left hand is itching. In my culture they say that I’ll receive some money. At least I think it’s the left hand… well we’ll see… I am not getting my hopes up

Day 71 on my journey: Turned disappointment into gratitude…!

On this day I received the information about BSFF from Larry. He must have read my earlier post. I have not been able to read everything yet, but I feel really grateful he send me this new information. I’ve already read about a way to “bypass” your conscious mind. I’ll have to block some time tomorrow to study the material. As soon as I have the money I’ll buy the BSFF DVD. I’m sure that’ll be helpful as well. I’m going to add a link to the BSFF website on the side as well.

So that was one “disappointment” I turned into gratitude.

On this day I again became aware of how this disappointment habit works. Every year for Christmas we get something from our boss. One year I got a nice check. Another year they gave me a gift bag. So I was expected something along those lines.

Well I am now the proud owner of a BIG black bag! That’s it…

At first I have to admit I was disappointed (:-))… but then I remembered what Jeanie said about changing your feelings and I decided to feel grateful. I also remembered that I wanted a black bag. I had been looking around but couldn’t find one.

So I feel grateful for finally getting a quality (looks like it) black bag.

The Universe works in mysterious ways… I just forgot to mention I wanted an average sized bag…:_)

PS: In case you’re reading this Larry thanks again for taking the time to send me the information. I really appreciate

Day 70 on my journey: Emotions are so important!

On this day I listened to Joan’s blog radio talk show with Jeanie Marshall. I mentioned her guided meditations before. They are very nice. I let Jeanie know through Twitter that I really liked the show and her meditations. She later on send me a direct message letting me know that she enjoyed tweeting with me directly… such a nice person.

The thing that I really liked about the show was her advice on dealing with not-good feelings. Instead of calling them bad, she prefers calling them not-good. I agree that not-good sounds a lot better.

The method she recommends is something that anyone could do. Whenever you feel not-good, you ask yourself “How do I want to feel?”. Of course you would rather feel good. Although some people seem to thrive on not feeling good and complaining. I think I used to be like that, until I became aware of it.

The moment I started “listening” to my mind “chatter” I noticed I wasn’t as positive as I used to think. It was an eyeopener for me that day.

Anyway to get back to what Jeanie said. So Joan asked her how do you change your feelings from not-good to good or whatever feeling you’d like to feel, like satisfied or happy. What you can do is plan ahead. That just means that whenever you become aware of being in a certain emotional state you can use something you’ve decided on using when you did feel good to make you feel good again. Like an image in your mind that brings you joy or photographs of beautiful places you’ve been and that made you feel good.

This sounds very logical to me and I’m definitely going to be doing that. I think that it’s even easier for me to do now, because of the clearing of limiting beliefs I’ve been doing with BSFF.

By the way should you want to listen to any of the shows on Joan’s Blog Talk Radio Show, I added a link on the right hand navigation part.

Please let me know what you think of the show…

Day 68 on my journey: Disappointment won’t give!

Like I said on day 67 my MP3 player stopped working. I spoke to a co-worker who bought the same player and her’s was broken as well. So on top of feeling disappointed I felt guilty, because I introduced her to this gadget. Feeling guilty or to blame is another of my habits, I realized.

So I took the player back to the shop, expecting to either get the option to exchange it for a new one or get my money back. Well it didn’t quite go like that. They offered to repair it, which is going to take two weeks. That is if they are able to fix it. If not I’ll get a refund. At least that’s what I understood. The lady that helped me was busy on the phone while attending to me.

They don’t always know the meaning of customer service here in Kuwait. I’m used to it now. In the beginning I could get really upset about the way they treated their customers. Especially in the ministries or customs.

Another disappointment is that Larry has not yet send me the new BSFF protocol. I send him an e-mail as he requested, but have not heard from him. I can imagine he’s very busy. I’m more than willing to wait…

I’ve made a list of the things I would like to treat using BSFF and the 7-step process Joan speaks about in her program. Disappointment is definitely one of them…