Growing up I was a very shy and self conscious girl. I would sit in my room for hours reading, studying all by myself. I didn’t have many friends and I just didn’t really care. With having friends comes so much responsibility I thought. Keeping in touch with them, playing with them… I just couldn’t see myself do that.
Especially after one day I had gone to a friend’s house and asked her brother (I think) whether she could come swimming. The brother said no, so I said that’s a shame and I left. The next day my friend told me that her family didn’t like the fact that I said it was a shame she couldn’t come swimming. I was confused. What’s wrong with saying it’s a shame for somebody not to be able to go somewhere… Till this day I am still confused… Anyway I decided that I just didn’t know how to talk to people or express myself so why bother.
For years I would just go to school, read and study, untill I made a new friend. We did stuff together, mainly at her house, because she was the only girl with 4 brothers. For some reason boys liked me. My first “boyfriend” told me that he chose to ask me out, out of three other girls. I didn’t know what to think… I felt kind of honored, but there was also a lot of pressure for me to live up to his expectations. To make a long story short, we didn’t last. The main reason was that I didn’t want to sleep with him. I was 14! No way I was sleeping with anybody. So he broke up with me and I was so happy. I remember my friend being so surprised when I told her I was happy we had split up. I just thought it was funny she thought I had gone mad…
The same thing almost happened with another boy. He wanted to date me and told me he asked me before a few other girls, because he liked me the most. I just said no thank you. I was not going to go through that again.
There was however a guy I really liked. He lived about an hour and a half away from us and I was always really excited to go to my cousin’s place because he lived nearby. He broke my heart though. I don’t think I will ever forget that phone call, when he told me he had chosen to stay with his girlfriend. I felt a pain in my heart. My throat choked up. I had read about this kind of stuff hurting, but never experienced it myself until that day. I vowed never to show any man I cared about him again.
It didn’t get any better. The next three boyfriends I had all cheated on me. I’ll spare you the details. After what happened with that guy I really liked, my heart wasn’t broken, just my pride. After the third one cheated on me, I again made a vow. It was not going to happen to me again! I didn’t want to feel like I wasn’t good enough to be with anyone any more.
At the age of 17 I picked up a book by Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life. It was a very big eye opener for me. I realized that the thoughts I had about men where attracting these cheating *&$#. I started affirming positive statements. It took a few years for me to meet my husband (change takes time). He hasn’t cheated on me, as far as I know, but I’ve come to stop worrying about it and I don’t put my focus there anymore because that would just create what I don’t want to happen.
I read a few more books. Some of which I don’t remember the title, but they’ve all helped me to get to where I am now. Ready to start my debt free prosperous living.
The books I do remember reading are:
- Happy for no reason by Marci Shimoff
- A new earth, Awakening to your life’s purpose by Eckhart Tolle (this book has really made a big impact on my life. I also followed the course through the Oprah Winfrey site. I really recommend this one)
- Five Wishes by Gay Hendricks
- The Journey by Arnold Patent
- Professional Dreamer by Ghalil
- Busting Loose from the Money Game by Robert Scheinfeld
- The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot (didn’t finish this one yet)
I also did a few courses:
- An assertiveness course that was very helpful, it most of all taught me how to stop being a love junk.
- A confidence e-course that was kind of helpful. I already knew a lot that was mentioned from the books I had read, but there were also some things I didn’t know
- The Manifesting Miracles course by Nick Arandes. This course definitely changed my life. Nick has taught me how to look at life from a different perspective and I have manifested some miracles eversince I did the course. Most of them involve money. Whenever I want something I just follow his instructions and I get it. Like joining the program I am on now; Build Your Money Muscles for Financial Strength & Security. I didn’t have the money, but I asked for it the way Nick taught me and within a month I had the money. And the new computer I am using now(bought it yesterday), so much faster than my old laptop. I have to be careful not to start neglecting my three girls, because I love being on this computer so much. It amazes me every time that I am able to manifest miracles… the Universe is just the greatest…
So at the moment I am doing the program I mentioned. It’s for 6 month, with every month new material to read and listen to. I can download everything, so I can still benefit from it after the 6 months, because I don’t have to do everything within those months.
I have a good feeling about this course as well. Although it seems to be focused on the US market, I am sure I will still get a lot out of it, because where ever you are, you can change your money habits, for the better, and start your debt free prosperous living…
