Oh my God, it’s been ages since I wrote something on this blog. So much has happened and I will tell you about it, but I’m hoping I can keep writing, because it helps.
Now for an update. Believe it or not my husband and I are still together and our relationship hasn’t been better. I still get my own salary in my own account, but we don’t share the bills. I pay all of them. Now that looks like a bad thing, but I can afford it and at least the bills get paid. As I am still on my journey the next step is to get to a situation where I can start paying off my debts. At the moment I am not and I know I should, but it will take some adjustments on my side and I am taking it slow so the changes will last.
Now the reason I can afford the bills is because I have a new job. The only thing I am having trouble with at the moment is accepting the fact that I have this job and that it will last. I did not get off to a good start. The job is very demanding and so much different to what I’m used to. My boss has made some remarks about me being slow and not moving around enough. Well I am doing the best I can and if this job was meant to last it will, if not it won’t. I’m open to anything. It’s so liberating to write this down. I really feel that as long as I am doing my best that’s all I can do. If my best is not good enough, so be it.
I had my first call with Joan. I finally was able to get the money together to afford calling her. It was a great call. I have a recording. She really gave me some great exercises and insights into what could be going on with me. It seems I’m suppressing a lot of anger and I think fear as well. She told me to use my journal and just scribble things in it. I did it and it felt great. I’m also expressing emotion by making sounds. It really helps. It’s amazing.
So in short, I’ve made a lot of progress on my journey. I’m making more money, did I tell you I have a new car? Well not new, second hand, but great. Fuel efficient, small… I save so much money on gas, it’s the best. Especially since the new job is closer to the house.
Oh I have two jobs, so the potential of making even more money. Life is ok at the moment. I’m keeping, keeping on…
