Day 113 on my journey: An important financial decission to make…

Starting next week I’m going to work an extra hour every day… more money! Nice huh?!

It’s great of course, but with this extra money comes the question of what to do with it. What will most likely happen and I hope it won’t is that the money will go into my husband’s account.

A co-worker told me that I should be stronger in dealing with this with my husband. That the money I make is mine and that I should be getting it and deciding with to do with it, instead of it going into his account. I have tried to talk to my husband about this in the past and he was not willing to listen to me.

Now here is what I want. I know the Universe is listening so I’ll be as specific as possible.

I am willing to “give” my husband 300KD every month and keep the rest. The rest will be about 200KD. It depends on how many hours I really work. Anything can happen.
I want to save some of this money and spend the rest on getting ready to start my own business. I need to learn so much about having a business. I need business- and marketing skills for sure.

At the moment I am just not confident enough I could make it in business. I would really like to have my own way of making money, but I am realistic enough to know that with my current mindset I wouldn’t succeed.

Now this may sound negative. I prefer to call it: Being Real!

First off all I need to really decide on what it is I would like to do. We spend all this money on me getting my graphics and design diploma, so I feel I have to do something with it.

I believe I need coaching. Someone outside myself who can take an objective look at my situation and give me some advice.

So the extra money I would definitely spend on some coaching sessions with Joan Sotkin and/or with Jeanie Marshall. I admire both these women for their hard work and marketing abilities. I could learn a lot from them.

It is time to accept that there is only so much I can do by myself. I really want to do something with my life, instead of just working for someone else.

But like I said I need to get ready… I need to prepare…

Day 111 on my journey: Loving my new healing stone!

I love the stone Joan send me. Today I felt a bit tired after lunch so I sat down and held the stone for a few minutes. I felt so much better in just a few minutes. Amazing!

I left a message in our Google group to let the others know how great the stone is. I love just holding it and it has a really cute little gold colored bag. I’ll try to remember to take a picture.

I feel like slowly but surely I am directed towards a more organized and fulfilling life. I say this because I am getting messages left and right about things like getting rid of clutter and how to market your business.

I’m so proud of myself for not giving up. Although at the moment studying for my CIW exams is taking up a bit of my time and working as well.

I’m still writing posts for this blog, which in itself is amazing… well done!

Oh and remember the first positive habit I want to instill: writing down 3 most important tasks every morning? I have been doing that and feeling proud about that as well.

Day 110 on my journey: I am so grateful…!

I am on my way to getting a new digital camera… I am so grateful. After all this time desiring one, it seems like I’ve got the money and that it’s only a matter of time for me to get one.

I’m happy, but there’s a but. I was able to convince my husband that I needed this camera to make money. I told him that I could use it to make pictures and sell them online. Which is true, but (here’s where I’m being honest with myself) I’m not sure whether I’ll be able to do that.

I listened to a Joan’s radio show (there’s a link on the right to her blogtalkradioshow). She interviewed Valerie Young today. Valerie is an expert on helping people change careers. She trains people to help people find ways to make money, outside of the box.

It was interesting to listen to them talk, because they spoke about marketing and the skills people need in order to become entrepreneurs or solo practitioners among other things.

I hope to be a coach someday. At the moment I have so many excuses not to become one, that I sometimes feel I’ll probably never be one. I know this is not constructive thinking, but I am determined to do something other than work for someone else for the rest of my life.

An important skill I need to improve is interacting with people. I prefer writing people emails to actually talking to them. Although I am not as afraid as I used to be.

At the moment I feel like the Universe is bombarding me with help. I keep getting links and information teaching me about things I want to learn about, like the marketing and how important it is to be clear on your intentions.

My intention for my life is to feel free!

I know deep down inside that I have the potential. I just have to peel away the layers of emotional blocks covering up my personal power so it can be revealed and I can finally be ME!

Day 108 on my journey: Changing habits…

I cashed my check today. All day long I asked myself what am I going to do with the money. I discussed “coaching” with my husband and he was not in favor of it.

He also doesn’t think it’s necessary for me to get a digital camera, but it’s ok for me to get a new hairdryer. I don’t know what to do. Why do I listen to him? Why do I allow him to control what happens to money I work for?

I don’t know. I really don’t.

And then I read my girls a bed time story from a children’s bible and it was about giving. So I decided to not start a fight and accept the fact that I have not come to a point of having more yet and just give!

I have noticed that my husband is much more loving towards me though. He likes my new hairdo. I see progress. I need to keep on keeping on.

Anyway I came across a great website about designing your lifestyle. Timothy Ferriss wrote a book called “4 Hour Work Week”. I think I’m going to order that book.

He also talks about how to change a habit on his site. His advice is based on the book “The Power of Less”. The best way to change a habit is to focus on just one for 30 days. There are more rules, but it makes sense to me. Just have a look here if you want to know more.

So the first habit I am instilling is:

Set my 3 MITs (Most Important Tasks) each morning.

There is a list of 12 habits. 1 for every month. I feel like I really needed this and have found my answer to overcoming overwhelm.

This is the year for me to get more organized and disciplined. I said it!

Day 107 on my journey: Got the check…!

I am not sure what happened this month, but I finally got my check. Could it be that because of my just-enough feelings I created this?

You see my husband was away for a few weeks and I had the bankcard. I didn’t really need any extra money, but he is coming back tomorrow so…

This time that he was not here, was actually a good thing. It gave me time to think about what I want to do with my money.

I will have to find the right time to discuss my plans with him. If anything in my beliefs has changed he will react positively, if not, I have some more work to do!

Day 105 on my journey: Golden Pool of Abundance…!

I received the link to the guided meditation “Golden Pool of Abundance” by Jeanie Marshall. She didn’t get a notification from Paypal. It’s a good thing I asked. I’m very grateful I got the meditation.

It’s wonderful. I could really imagine splashing around in the pool and putting on new clothes when I got out.

I started reading the “Holographic Universe” again. It’s recommended in the program. I started reading before, but didn’t finish it. This time I understood the whole concept of holography must better. I guess I wasn’t ready before.
This book basically explains how we create our reality and that we are part of a much “bigger” whole. That we are all one.

I love this whole concept, because it makes sense to me (now) and it’s something I can use. It goes deeper than the Law of Attraction.

I already heard about the subconscious not knowing the difference between what we imagine and what “really” happens, but now I know why.

I attracted an amount of money unexpectedly yesterday. I am so grateful. I will definitely be visualizing and jumping into the Golden Pool of Abundance more often.

I’ve also been sending out pink light to people around me and online. It is part of the month 4 exercises. It’s nice to do that. It feels great.

I am truly starting to believe that this program works. What I mean by that is that it’s no longer just theory. It pays to take action!

Day 103 on my journey: Too much to share!

The last few days a lot has been going on. Just too much to share. So I’ll just stick to whatever I remember at this moment.

I am expecting the BYMM book next week. Looking forward to holding it and getting on track with reading it.

I listened to a member’s call. Almost everybody on there was doing better. The fact they are on the call and really making an effort is working for them. I am always very happy to see others do well.

Our group has been moved to Google. On Facebook it wasn’t that easy to stay in touch. I signed up for the Google group and updated my profile. I really hope to connect to the others more now.

I still didn’t get my check. I hope to get it tomorrow morning. I don’t really know what to do about it. Joan was saying we should activate our internal Obama, but I don’t really know what that means. I know he is a very confident man and I love the way he is handling things. He seems prepared and knows the challenges he and the world are facing.

I don’t yet feel like giving away stuff, although I have been giving away some clothes and donated some money to the “Lawttery of Attraction”.

I listened to the audio for month 4 again. It’s all about connecting to the “Field of Consciousness” as Joan calls it. I’m doing my best to visualize our coaching sessions together. I am open to any signs that I can afford them.

The information in this program is just wonderful. I don’t know why Joan is charging such a low amount. Anybody else would have probably charged a lot more. I believe she really wants to help others and give them the opportunity to sign up even when on a low budget.

Joan offered to send me a healing stone. A stone that she energized. I’m not sure whether she sent it already, but I’m looking forward to receiving it…

I have on been on fool.com reading about investments, bonds, stocks, etc. I’m proud of myself for doing that because I haven’t been reading about money stuff, but it is suggested in the program. So I get a gold star today.. woo-hoo!!

Day 101 on my journey: I’m still confused!

Still no check, no guided meditation. I think I have to stop focussing on them. I am creating the want at the moment.

I am doing my best to be more aware of the thoughts I have through the day and I’ve been using my BSFF cue word a lot. I also listened to an extra audio I forgot to download in month one. It was very nice, but I didn’t get to listen to all of it. My MP3 player ran out of steam!

I also saw a video on Facebook. The person who did the video spoke about acknowledgments and demonstration. He suggested to start a demonstration journal. One thing I can already mention about demonstration (meaning synchronicity) is the fact that I keep running into notes or other sources of information about what I need more help with.

I am very grateful for that. It’s like the Universe approves of my journey and is doing it’s best to help me along. I did not expect any less than that.

I feel great about myself, because I was able to change my mood to a more positive one when I realized I had to wait another day or even longer to get my check…

I am so grateful for my husband. When I told him I was “broke”. He said: “Well you have the bankcard”. And I said; “But I don’t want to be taking out money and you don’t know” and he said; “As long as you’re ok”. I thought that was so sweet. So I withdrew some money.:-)

Just to clarify. My husband is in Nigeria at the moment. Normally I do not have the bank card…

I really am at a just enough level. I’m expecting my check, but have not yet decided what to do with the extra money. Who knows that might also be a reason I have not yet received that extra money…

Decisions, decisions!

Day 100 on my journey: What is going on?

Today is January 11 and I still have not received my check for December. I asked about it and was told that my boss kept forgetting her key or something. I really hope I’m not going back to my old habits.

I have been quite busy. I reviewed the exercises in the other months and realized that I didn’t do all of them. For example in month one I was supposed to buy a pink candle and sit quietly with myself and forgive myself.

So I bought the candle and did the forgiveness routine for a few minutes. I noticed that I couldn’t stay focused. So I’ll try again. I’ll be using this candle when I’m doing my guided meditations.

Talking about meditations. I ordered one from Jeanie Marshall, but have not yet received it. I’m looking forward to listening to it. It’s called “Golden Pool of Abundance”.

So, so far no check and no audio… I wish I knew what was going on!

By the way I changed my project for month 4. I am no longer going to focus on paying my debts back, I’m going to manifest coaching sessions with Joan. I’ve been wanting to do them for years and I feel the time has come.

I need to call in some extra help to get through this phase.

I love the audio for this month. I’m going to listen to it again tomorrow.

Day 98 on my journey: What am I going to do?

I have been walking around asking myself what to do? In month 4 I am supposed to pick a project I believe I can manifest in about three months.

My mind often overflows with ideas and I can get them started, but I don’t always follow through. I am very grateful I am still writing this blog and haven’t given up yet. A gold star for me today!!!

So back to picking a project. By the way I listened to the audio of a call for program members and one of the ladies said something that struck me. She spoke about wanting to grow her business but just feeling stuck. (I’m using my own words here). She just couldn’t imagine having the people in her life to support and help her.

I realized that I have the same problem. Like I said I often have so many ideas, get started and then give up. She also said that if she didn’t feel like she would be able to do a good job, she didn’t even feel like getting started. That’s me too! I don’t trust others being able to do what I can do. I used to be worse. I guess if I ever want to really start a business I’ll have to get over that…

Anyway my project. Here it is:

Start paying back my debts through monthly payments and feeling great about it.

Great project huh?!

Now what I need to do is visualize that it’s already happening and how it makes me feel. Shouldn’t be too hard.

I am a bit afraid that my identity factor is in full resistance mode when it comes to connecting to others. I have done some BSFF on the problem of feeling alone, connecting to others and getting what I want. I also tried sending pink light to my friends on Facebook.

Hopefully in a few months I’ll have found ways to stay connected to others without going back to my old ways. Although I am being a bit too hard on myself. I have 74 friends on Facebook. That to me is amazing and most of the friends are adding me instead of me adding them. It feels nice.